Let's paint the town black

Ech

2005-07-28T12:42:53Z

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	33%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Artistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|	16%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|	17%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
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I'm back...for now

2005-07-28T01:47:05Z

A long computerless summer it has been. It was no help for my flimsy social skills. I had nothing else to do but go out onto that god forsaken world and meet other people which turned out to depress me every time. No one called but my beloved and some friends which was mainly out of boredom. I'm not needed by anyone so thats why I figured being a loner aint that bad. It wasn't but it was just so dull, but it was forced on me being that most of my "friends" cant even stand me.
Whatever life must go on or something.

Anyway a total recap of my summer

Akon 16
- funner than last year's, I wasn't alone this time.
$1000 shopping spree
- clooothes!

yea.....thats it

Updatee

2005-05-13T17:36:22Z

Ah yes I've organized my Gothic lolita costume for A-kon. Man I feel so down in the gutter. I think I failed Comp Lit. bleh Please let me hang on by a string. I want to go to A-kon, bad!!
*sigh*

My only salvation this summer

please oh please.

hmph I'm begging, aren't I a pathetic little oaf.

As for now

2005-05-03T21:05:04Z

Small moments on a little box like this are meant to cherish once your other was flung out into the cold.

Last few days worked out quite well.

Went to battle of the bands with Yuri. Lordy if you were there you'd be wet in an instant. Can't wait till the next comes around, and maybe next year me, Yuri, and Desi might be up there.

Mother took me to a weird ass church service. You know the ones where there's this really hyped up guy preaching to everyone. Old ladies were jumping and screaming for this guy. My mother's main reason for this is my salvation. How stupid, but at least she's giving a shit aout me these days. Not for the right reason, but you know atleast something.
I'm just happy no panties were thrown at the air. *shivers*

Thats as much as I'll include for now kids.
~Bai

Wtf, seriously!

2005-04-29T17:14:43Z

Sorry I haven't updated in that last few days. My mother did the most psychotic thing. She threw out my bloody hardrive. Literally threw it out. Not a fun motherly thing eh?

Meh, I'll be fine. The computer isn't my life, just my free time.
I've been stuck to my DDR pad as of recently. I'm getting pretty good being the incapable piggy I am.
Glad to be back on a tumor inducing box once more even if it for a short while. Mmmmm

I'll be back bitches

I should've lunged it at her spine

2005-04-25T11:27:15Z

All I can feel is rage, for someone I'm fed up with. I do what I can for this person but no they want more. For their age they will do anything to bring a child down. Big insecurities there. Just for acting the way I am, I deserve to get punish. Well I ain't taking anymore pointless shit like this. Elders my ass, they deserve no respect or help from me. I won't give out my generousity because without it they'd be out in the cold. They might not even think of it with their oversized ego but it's true. I help them out and tend to them when I can. Hell, I forgave them when they take from me. I'm fed up and I can't take this crap. Threaten me all they want, it's not like they're going to believed anyway. They aren't cared for in this house so why do they keep coming back. That one night long ago when I turned homicidal, gripping that kitchen knife. I Should've lunged it at her spine and watched them bleed. That's how I was inside whenever I was too close to them. Bleeding to death after being stabbed in the back.

So congratulation, I hope it all feels like an accomplishment. Whoever you are, you know but you'll deny it. Consider yourself the angel in this but you're not. You're the hell in my life, and I do literally want you 6 feet under. Don't worry, all emotional connection to you has been cut off. You're just a stranger to me now. Leave this place and live your own life. Fend for yourself and get away from here. You hate us so it shouldn't be much of a problem. Go now you don't belong here anymore, black sheep.

No Lies, Just Love

2005-04-23T02:08:39Z

~
It was in March of the winter
I turned seventeen

That I bought those pills
I thought I would need
I worote a letter
to my family
Said it's not your fault
And you've been good to me

Just lately I've been feeling
Like I don't belong
Like the ground's not mine to walk upon
And I've heard that music
Echo through the house
Where my grandmother drank
By herself

And I sat Watching a flower
As it was withering
I was embarrassed by it's honesty
So I'd prefer to be remembered as a
Smiling face
Not this fucking wreck
That's taken it's place

So please forgive what I have done
No you won't stay mad at the settng sun
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually
There is nothing left to do but sleep

But spring came bearing sunlight
Those persuasive rays
So I gave myself a few more days
My salvation it came, quite suddenly
When Justin spoke very plainly
He said "Of course it's your decision,
But jsut so youk now
If you decide to leave
Soon I will follow"

I wrote this for a baby
Who was yet to be born
My brother's first child
I hope that womb's not too warm
Cause it's cold out here
And it'll be quite a shock
To breathe this air
To discover loss
So I'd like to make some changes
Before you arrive
So when your new eyes meet mine
They won't see no lies
Just love
Just love

I will be pure
No, no, I know I will be pure
Like snow, like gold

etceteranoire @ 2005-04-19T18:20:00

2005-04-19T23:20:13Z

Well finally that tsunami of depression dimmed out. Now I'm feelin a bit better after a good nuzzling with Joy's bosom. They feels so gewd! Also the face on her boyfriend was priceless, which made me nuzzle in deeper between them. Man it's odd, she's taken but I still love her. She's gorgeous and her hips are to die for. Meh, I'll wait for my chance later on. On another nerdy note: My little bud Mikey gave me all of his yu gi oh cards and some pokemon cards which was positively delightful. I'm still orgasming from the sight, and worse (or way freakin better!) The making of a hellsing OVA was confirmed, thus I am now sexed up and in need of letting out major sexual tension. Last but not least

Nothing worse...Nothing better

2005-04-19T01:15:51Z

This whole I'v had this spontanious feeling. It wouldn't go away. I felt alone and betrayed. I was insulted and ignored. Some tried to console me but I didn't listen nor did I care if they wanted to help. I felt hollow and distant from everything else. I only felt a stabbing pain that wouldn't go away...allover my chest and torso. Like I was impaled by a all these spikes or rusty blades in a deep hole, quiet with me just staring off into the distance as I bled to death. Images of my skin Cut up with long endless gashes kept coming. I hated everyone and everything, I hated myself and everything I had or didn't have. My eyes wouldn't stop tearing as My own voices and those I considered my friends wouldn't stop reminding me about how no one was there, everyone betrayed me for someone better. How they never thought of me. Like I never existed. It wouldn't stop hurting, I just wanted to bash my head onto the brick wall. Till there was nothing but crished skull and my brain bits splattered on the pavement. I had no one, no one liked me or loved me in that certain way. They were caught up with someone else who was caught up with someone else. The atomic bomb of bad self image hit the gloomy polluted land that is my mind. I now just want to starve myself, that'll amke everything better...for their sake. I should stay quite and sad. They'll build up sympathy and think of me as a mystery but it will also wipe my existance from their mind. It wouldn't be a problem, it's better off that way.

And now I find myself..crying again, thinking about it again.

That is why I love you

2005-04-18T22:29:56Z

You’re such a beautiful freak
I wish there were more just like you
You’re not like all of the others

And that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
That is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Some people think you have a problem
But that problem lies only with them
Just ’cause you are not like the others

But that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak
Yeah that is why I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Too good for this world
But I hope you will stay
And I’ll be here to see that you don’t fade away

You’re such a beautiful freak
I bet you are flying inside
Dart down and then go for cover

And know that i
I love you
Beautiful freak,
You know that i
I love you
Beautiful freak, beautiful freak

Well now o.o

2005-04-14T01:00:29Z

YOUR ULTIMATE HELLSING by scottwithink

username

who you work for

hellsing

Who you have a skanky affair with

Walter

Who you Kill...

Schro.

your theme song...

Tsumitsukuri

the one who buys Integra a stripper...

nantothecee

the one who strips Maxwell and throws him in there

moonchildgackt

the one who grabs Walter and captains asses

oi_emo_toy

onw who helps pip set up cameras ;)

hazyxeyed

Chance of converting a priest...: 95%

Chance of doing it though seduction: 64%

chance of doing it through cupcakes and threats: 47%

Quiz created with MemeGen!

SLC Punk

2005-04-12T00:13:42Z

You Are Stevo!

Which SLC Punk are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

oh yea!

2005-04-11T03:02:01Z

Oh hell yea. I finally got vol.6, and sadly read it under 30 min. Sometimes I wish I could muster is all slowly...mmm savory.

Planned cosplay

2005-04-03T23:07:53Z

Alright, my planned costumes are now about to be made later on this week or month. Here's the list
Young Walter
Seras Victoria (yellow/manga)
Nakuru

other last minute options:
Schrodinger
Pip bernadette (striped sleeve shirt/ vol.4)
Alucard (A sort of victorian version like jill's)

Already ready:
Gothic lolita cat girl (ears needed)

Irky

2005-04-03T18:11:14Z

I find it annoying that Dark horse must delay the release date for Hellsing. It's already 9 days since the release date and nothing yet! I find Vol.6 one of the most important and I'm waiting impatiently for it. I need my hellsing now. I also need to get Vol.7 in japanese.
*sigh*
Well I'll be going back to school. Lately I'v been dreading it. Mainly because of the people in it. They're all bastards...excluding most good guys. A well, just go with it.

Earlier today I talked to Danny-boy, my sweet little nazi. He sounded like he looked. Which wasn't at all bad, seeing as he is a saucy one to look at. heh He called our first talk heavenly. How cute and over exaggerated he can be.

Soda Dreamer

2005-04-01T03:48:36Z

Rags and riches I made three wishes
I've been a bad girl and I kissed the witches
I dance naked with animals
I've seen more than you ever dreamed possible

I've seen her I've breathe inside her
I've seen her adreena
I've seen her adreena

Hags and bitches I made three wishes
I've been a bad girl and I broke the dishes
I dance naked with animals
I've seen more than you ever dreamed possible

I've seen her I've grown her seeds
I've been her adreena
I've seen her adreena

Rags and riches I made three wishes
I've been a bad girl and kissed the witches
I dance naked with animals
I've seen more than you ever dreamed possible

I've seen her I breathe inside her
I've been her adreena
I've seen her adreena
I've seen her
I sowed her dreams
I've been her adreena
I've seen her Adreena

Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

2005-03-29T18:24:50Z

My mom's seriously gone nutso on me. I all of a sudden can conjure up demons and let them roam around our house freely. I mean sure I aint the perfect kid but...man, I'm not the devil's whore here. Apperently the computer is the Devil. Wow 20 min. on this thing and I'v commited horrable sin. Why can't she be in normal denial like the other moms.
Sadly she's the one with the problems not me. She even been told by a doctor. The woman needs to think through what she's been doing.
I love her and she loves me, but she aint showing it the right way.

tingly feeling in ze noggin

2005-03-28T07:52:17Z

I just have the urge to create a community dedicated to Bert and Gerard's "misunderstood" relationship.

Dating sucks in both worlds

2005-03-25T22:46:46Z

No matter how pedophilac this might sound, it's mainly true. I'm sticking to being with someone, nowhere near my age, Older most likely. Anything lower is shallow induced and filled with imaturity and of course lack of understanding. Don't forget those dang raging hormones. I myself contain most of those traits but being with something showing the same kind of thing is too much. I hate myself enough at the moment.

I'll also need to stop collecting uneeded boyfriends online. It's weakminded and stupid. Plus,.....it's a bunch of words with no meaning. It's mainly my pathetic way of feeling important when in real life I can't even do that. That's all the proof i need.

Damn I hate this age, full of uneeded crap that messes with your head.

Welcome to the world of angst, kids. Remember to buckle your seat belts!

mreoow

2005-03-18T22:38:53Z

Sex me up bitches, sex me up good!

Henry Lee

2005-03-18T01:52:40Z

Get down, get down, little henry lee
And stay all night with me
You won’t find a girl in this damn world
That will compare with me
And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on henry lee
I can’t get down and I won’t get down
And stay all night with thee
For the girl I have in that merry green land
I love far better than thee
And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on henry lee
She leaned herself against a fence
Just for a kiss or two
And with a little pen-knife held in her hand
She plugged him through and through
And the wind did roar and the wind did moan
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on henry lee
Come take him by his lilly-white hands
Come take him by his feet
And throw him in this deep deep well
Which is more than one hundred feet
And the wind did howl and the wind did blow
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on henry lee
Lie there, lie there, little henry lee
Till the flesh drops from your bones
For the girl you have in that merry green land
Can wait forever for you to come home
And the wind did howl and the wind did moan
La la la la la
La la la la lee
A little bird lit down on henry lee

Lay it out on a wicker couch

2005-03-17T00:44:18Z

Cold front totally hit down here hard. I wore 2 damn hoodies
and it was still cold. Ah I love intimidating other with my
"my chemical romance" cupid hoodie. Tho most of my guy friends
find it's concept funny. Ah well. Yesterday my Dad was supposed
to pick up the report card but he was at the doctor's so I can
now have a couple more days of living. The sweet necter of life!

eh...I need to spend my whole week in Fort Worth this spring break.
I seriously need to see my Jilly and Cheeky Nick. I'm not going to
waste a good long EXTENDED! week just working for my mom and laying
around the house. I need to spend it with hot nights of steamy
vampire sex T.T I kid I kid....or am I?

Oh my dearest friend invited me to see battle of the bands and she
says it has "mucho emo". Well now, I have to be there. >=]

Good side~Bad side

2005-03-12T00:16:40Z

I just got cds in the mail from my squidy mums marianne *blows her an e-smooch*
Quite the kickarse songs. I wish her the best during her stay with pippy.

oh yes bad side
sulking and reading up on other journals got me a bit sad. I seriously have to take this diet thing seriously or I'll remain a pundgy blob for the rest of my life. I want to be a bit thinner and pale, not much into the dead side tho. Just to look fair and lovely. I want my body to go with my clothing style. This is a shallow world, and being beautiful these days seems to be the only thing that'll find you love...or "love". It makes your friends treat you better.

I was born in the wrong timeline -_-

Well well

2005-03-07T00:18:07Z

Back from the PSIA thingy, and have a body ridden with cramps. Which is a big owie.
Good news:
I won first place bitches and I get to go to Fort worth, which means I get to see my Love Jill and her boyfriend(which is mine also) Nick!
All of that made me so friggen giddy!

Bad news:
I was in the 7th grade on sight drawing. I was an alternate but my chapperone wanted me to stay in the contest and placed me with 7th graders. I feel like a cheater. I feel like a big bully that just sucker punched a bunch of tiny kids ;.; I'm still going even if I get caught. I need to see my Jill so badly. I want to cuddle and kiss her and not let go.

Wicked cool o.o

2005-03-04T03:35:00Z

Well Tomarrow I'll be heading off to San Antonio for PSIA. I'm in on-sight drawing. Which if you can comprehend that is drawing what's put infront of you. Last time I wen through that (6th grade) I didn't even get a place, just a partisipasion ribbon. Which i ripped to shreds with my teeth and hands. I was a blood thirsty mongrel back then...a very cute one.

Hopefully I'll have way better luck this try.